October 23, 2004 - Rich and Damien's Pig Roast (the Arkansas game)

Beware the quotes from Smokey and the Bandit.

Andy and I arrived at about 5:45 to find coals burning and Rich and Damien tying the pig (not yet named) to the grates. By ~6:15, the coals were ready, the pig was tied down, Sergei had shown up, and we laid the coals along the edges of the pit and put the pig on.

Notice the right arm of the pig. Since it was apparently an amputee, we fittingly named it, "Nub." (Green markings are USDA stamps. They're on all our pigs.)

Sergei does his famous Australian-Auto-Mechanic-Playing-with-Fire impersonation.

"Besides, I can't go with you. I got to go to Conyers in the morning and pick up a load of manure."
"Um, shitty job."
Rich describes how to pick the coals off the shovel with your hands one-at-at-time so you don't get burned as badly.

"I think I'm in love with your belt buckle."

"What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law. "
7AM - time for a top-notch scotch and classic Burt Rynolds and Sally Field.
...and don't forget Buford T. Justice!

"Now, you want me to drive to Texarkana, pick up 400 cases of Coors and come back in 28 hours. No problem. "
7:15am and we start the windchimes.

"And don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway."
Then Evan's house gets rolled. Odd...

"Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker."
Rich spraying for misquitos. (Mental note: delete this picture later. It is boring.)

Still no wind, but we're ready if it does kick up!

"This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags. "
American Gothic, redneck style. (The woman must be in the kitchen.)

"I'm gonna barbecue your ass in molasses."
Nub is tanning nicely.

"There's no way, no WAY that you came from my loins. The first thing I'm gonna do when I get home is punch your momma in the mouth."
Damien and his 'Lord of the Flies' pose.

"You sum-bitches couldn't close an umbrella. "
Preparing for an epic battle of Cups.

Jason gets clarification on the rules.

"Nice matching suits. It must have been a bitch to get a 69 Extra Fat and a 12 Dwarf."
Flippin' Nub.

"The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation."
"The god damn Germans got nothin' to do with it."
Action shot of Jason flipping - and Andy patronizing.

"Son, you're looking at a legend.
"I guess a legend and an out-of-work bum look a lot a like,

Steamy pig.

Give me a break; I'd been drinking since 6am and it is now 7pm.

"That's an attention-getter. "
Rich's neighbor.